Sunday, 19 August 2012
Audition Notice for the Original Broadway Production of The Avengers - The Musical
Producers are seeking actors for the original Broadway production of The Avengers: The Musical, composed by Stephen Sondheim, Book written by David Mamet, and Lyrics by the resurrected corpse of Oscar Hammerstein. The production will be directed by Julie Taymor until she is fired.
We are currently looking to fill all roles with the exception of Tony Stark(played by Neil Patrick Harris) as the entire San Francisco workshop cast was tragically killed in an accidental energy surge involving a prop Tesseract Cube that turned out to be an actual Tesseract Cube. Mr. Harris only survived as he had been wearing his fully functioning, self-made Iron Man armor for the entire rehearsal process.
Please note in your submission which character you would like to be considered for:
Captain America – Leader of The Avengers. Handsome, well built, with a strong moral compass. MUST BE ABLE TO TAP.
Bruce Banner/Hulk – Introverted scientist tormented by a condition in which he transforms into a giant green rage monster when angered. Ability to transform into a giant green rage monster on command an asset. Preferrably not anyone who has played the Hulk in the past (Eric Bana, Edward Norton, Mark Ruffalo need not apply).
Thor – Asgardian God of thunder committed to protecting our world from the wiles of his evil brother. Seeking actors with extensive experience with classical text who aren't pretentious assholes.
The Black Widow – Former Russian spy and Femme Fatale. Hopeful candidates should refer to Scarlett Johansson's body in that cat suit from the film. You know what you need to do.
Hawkeye – Just some guy with a bow and arrow. Must have strong pop/rock voice for agonized power-ballad about being a lame super hero.
Nick Fury – We don't want to look like we're copying the movie, so we are not casting a black actor as Nick Fury. But because we also do not wish to look racist we will not be casting a white actor either. Hopeful candidates will be Navajo, Cambodian, or a subterranean Mole Man.
Loki – Looking for an actor who is willing to appear in front of a paying audience eight shows a week wearing that stupid horned helmet. That is the only requirement.
Disoriented Old Man – Obligatory cameo role for Stan Lee. Non-Stan Lees need not apply.
Actors are asked to prepare two contrasting songs from the musical theatre repertoire(NO SONDHEIM(as per Sondheim's request)), Two contrasting pop/rock songs(must be at least a little damaging to your vocal folds). All music should be cut to a total of 16 bars(4 bars per song). Applicants should prepare a contemporary dramatic monologue, a Shakespearean comedic monologue, and an assortment of pithy quotes by George Bernard Shaw. Actors considered for the role of Thor must also prepare a monologue from Ibsen in the original Norwegian. Actors are also asked to prepare the attached 63 pages of sides(you don't need to memorize them... unless you want us to actually hire you, in which case you should). All actors who pass the initial round will be required to attend a dance call which will include choreography in the following styles; ballet, tap, hip-hop, Polynesian tribal war dancing, 80's aerobics and Olympic figure skating. As our casting director is suffering from mild brain damage, actors are asked to come to all auditions wearing home-made costumes of the characters they are auditioning for.